The Two Most Important Days of Your Life — And How to Find the Second One

Mark Twain once said:

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”

That first day is automatic. The second? That one takes work.

In my years of speaking, coaching, and researching, I’ve learned this: most people never get to that second day. Not because they don’t want to — but because they’ve been taught to look in the wrong places.

We think our “why” is hidden in a job title, a set of achievements, or a perfectly executed five-year plan. And when life changes — the job ends, the season shifts, the plan falls apart — we’re left wondering who we are and what we’re for.

Why finding your “why” is so hard

It’s not for lack of trying.I’ve met CEOs, stay-at-home parents, recent graduates, and retirees who all carry the same question: What am I here for?The challenge isn’t that purpose is impossible to find — it’s that we often confuse it with things that are temporary:

• Identity — who you are is connected to your purpose, but it’s not the same thing.

• Values — these shape your life, but they aren’t the reason you exist.

• Vision — where you’re going is important, but it’s not the “why” behind your life.

• Mission — what you do flows from your purpose, but it’s not the purpose itself.

Your purpose is bigger than your role, your résumé, or your current reality. It’s the strong, unshakable foundation that stays the same no matter what changes.

The day you find out “why”

When you discover your purpose, everything shifts.

• Decisions get clearer. You have a filter for what gets a yes and what gets a no.

• Daily life feels more meaningful. Even the ordinary moments take on significance.

• You show up differently. Purpose fuels resilience, courage, and hope.

I’ve walked this journey myself, and I can tell you: that “second most important day” is worth every ounce of effort it takes to get there.

Where to start

If you’re ready to find your second most important day, begin here:

1. Notice your stories. What moments have shaped you the most — the ones that bring emotion even years later?

2. Name your giftings. What comes naturally to you that others value and need?

3. Pay attention to what moves you. The topics, causes, or opportunities that light you up are often signposts.

These are just the first steps. In my book The Strength of Purpose, I walk you through a clear, practical process to uncover your purpose — one that works no matter your age, job, or stage of life. It’s not quick and it’s not surface-level, but it is doable. And it can change everything.

Because that second most important day? It’s waiting for you.